The story's not about you

You have never struggled with the desire to please someone, to feel your importance, to feel needed. Therefore, to be alone with yourself is not a problem for you. Surely you often seclude yourself to be in silence, listen to your thoughts and your heart. You do something exciting alone and do not see the need to justify it to others.

You haven't had a period in your life when it feels like you not only owe everyone, but you're also to blame for something going wrong. And you've certainly never graded yourself on your actions, no matter what they were. You've never messed up and then berated yourself for it for hours, even though you knew you shouldn't have done it.

Guilt and shame do not haunt you

You've never struggled with the feeling of inner dissatisfaction, when you are consumed by the feeling that you are something you are not, that you are wrong. You've never tried to work on yourself, to change something about yourself: another degree, another course, lose a little more weight, tweak the shape of your nose a little more. Just a little bit.

No, that's not you.

I'm sure you've never faced a situation where it's insanely hard to praise yourself or thank yourself for something. Nor have you ever had the feeling that you're not worthy of something. You've never had trouble saying something nice to yourself.

You do not recognize yourself in a person who for years accumulates resentments and does not know how to forgive, does not know how to let go of negativity from his life. It's so easy to let go of a problem, a grudge, a regret. It is practically the same as putting a paper ship on the water and waiting for it to be carried away by the current.

You've never categorized yourself as someone who can't forgive themselves for something. You are convinced that you have nothing to forgive yourself for.

No one will feel good around you while you feel bad alone with yourself

What do I know about it? I don't know anything about your life.

But I can guess that you love your job and you love getting up in the morning to go to the office, because there are exciting, interesting tasks waiting for you, and you can't wait to do them. No doubt, the story of how hard it is to wake up, how hard it is to make yourself crawl out of bed and go to a job that you haven't enjoyed in a long time and that doesn't pay enough is not about you.

Moreover, you always take time for your health, exercise, put your interests and needs first. At the same time, you are not afraid of being seen as selfish.

You are not haunted by the idea that maybe you work too hard, give too much to others, forgetting about yourself. I don't think you know what it's like to feel victimized by circumstances. So you don't waste your time blaming your problems or difficulties on someone else.

Yes, undoubtedly, YOU are a confident, strong, self-esteemed and self-loving person. And it is so natural and so easy for you to love yourself.

And if you try on roles in Luc Besson's movie Angel A, you play the lead role of Angel. You come down from heaven to help Andre change his attitude to life. You do not fit Andre's image at all. He has no friends, he's in debt, no job, but he has enemies. Pretty depressing picture, isn't it?

You'd be surprised, but there are actually a lot of Andre's. More than I'd like to admit. And it's very hard for them to admit their love to themselves, too.

Andre did. But he needed help.

How to learn to love yourself and build a strong foundation for a happy life

Do you know what self-love is? What does self-love mean to you?

It's not just you I've been pestering with these questions. I asked my friends the same questions and they shared their insights and their recommendations with me.

Why trust their opinions?

They are not multi-millionaires, not big name businessmen, not pop and movie stars. They are ordinary people just like you and me. They have a job in an office somewhere and a family waiting at home. They also have problems, but they know how to enjoy life, they are happy, they have a great relationship in the family. And all because they love themselves.